Hi Alex, so listen, there's a thing I want to mention, and it's a little awkward. We're close friends, yet still I find the need to go anonymous for this, for reasons too long for the word limt on here. *Please* dial down your jabs at feminism. I follow you on Twitter, Facebook and here and everytime you post something like that it's insulting and ignorant. We've known eachother for a number of years, yet there are things I haven't told you, things which make your comments personal. Please stop.
I apologise that you find my views on feminism offensive and appreciate that whatever happened in your past, whoever you are, was likely terrible and regrettable.
I arrived at university a total feminist, even attempted to take an active stance in the feminist society. I was then confronted with militant bullying, distanced because of my gender, publicly insulted and ignored because I wasn’t part of any social minority. They didn’t even take the time to get to know me and realise that I’m gay before deciding that I’m too “priveleged” for their cause. The assumption was that I was male, white, heterosexual, cisgendered and should therefore hate myself, and have no opinion on any issues that are in fact quite close to my heart. Being told I have no right to an opinion is a violation of my human rights. A movement that is apparently for equality is trying to take away my human rights. I did nothing wrong. And every single time I’m told that because I’m male, I was born a rapist, a predator, a violent person and a lesser being, it puts every instance of my defence of women’s issues into perspective.
I’m frequently surrounded by a truculent, self-righteous group who want something much closer to world domination than “equality”, think that 90% of the country’s population - INCLUDING women who don’t agree with their toxic, hate-filled reaction to women’s so-called “oppression” - should have their problems ignored. For this reason I refuse to be associated with the feminist cause. I now class myself as an egalitarian, but I continue to focus on HUMAN issues, not issues that cannot even be classed as gender issues, yet ignore the male side of things.
I refuse to hate myself.
Women have plenty of issues that I care about, inform the less-informed about, actively think about and act upon. Yet any effort I make is ignored and even frowned upon simply because I’m a man. And the Student’s Union here at Essex has little care, and has even been forced to punish a female student for peacefully protesting against the bullying she was subjected to by the feminist society SIMPLY because she did not conform to their ideologies.
The story was that feminists here at Essex were complaining about and boycotting MTV’s “Pimp my Summer Ball” opportunity because it employed the word “pimp”. So instead of focusing on actual women’s issues, they were focussing on ONE use of ONE word in the English language which belongs to multiple word classes, and therefore, in its use, was completely irrelevant to anything related to sex work (which again is NOT a gendered issue) and upsetting everyone in the process. The poor girl’s backlash against the feminists received a huge amount of support, yet the SU were compelled to intervene and try to force the poor girl into submission, and relinquishing her right to free speech too. It’s very similar to the instance of feminists’ violent campaigning against the word “hurricane”, because in ONE dialect, American English, spoken by the least oppressed society in the world, it was pronounced similarly to the word “her”. They believed it was worth their time to attempt to change the term to “man-icane”. Yes, this actually happened. I refuse to associate with something so irresponsible.
Feminism has its reputation for a reason. Every time a feminist complains that they have been misunderstood for “hating men”, imagine how a regular person feels when they are accused of “hating women” because they don’t want to associate with a militant, sexist and massively outdated movement.
Nothing has changed in my political views. Women still deserve completely equal respect in society. But so do I, and if that makes people upset, it’s not my obligation to submit.
Again, I refuse to hate myself.